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"My mother did the best thing any parents can do for their child. She convinced me that I was a very special and important person.
"Then my children arrived and set out to prove that she was wrong."
Bronwyn Donaghy is Frances Storm- a modern mother whose hilarious and politically incorrect secrets about what really goes on between today's parents and their kids will make every mum and dad feel better- because we all need to know that we are not struggling alone!
Updated for the new millennium, Keeping Mum covers every parenting trauma from toilet training, theme birthdays and the dangers of staples to costume creation, school projects and parent-teacher interviews. From lateness, love, licenses and lying to morals, manners and mobiles, from sex, sexism, races and racism, fetes and fickle friends to those superior phantoms which haunt us all- Everyone Else's Parents.
"You're not washing up on Mother's Day?" screech the children. Guiltily you stop. They nod sternly and disappear. They're not either."
"Fat kids are softest to sit on when you catch them," explained Rash, as he went to do battle, while I waited and wept, as all good women have done since the beginning of time."
"When I reached the main thrust of the sex education story, tears of mirth squirted from his eyes. "You mean you and Dad once did that?" he gasped. Seriously?"
"Perhaps our failures are meant to cheer up the rest of you. I hope it's working. Because here at No. 1 Frustration Close, we're feeling pretty silly."

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